Monthly Archives: May 2025

Old Writings

I am going through old blog posts and writings today and came across this piece I wrote one year after 9/11. Thought I would reshare. Enjoy!

September 11, 2002
One Year Later

Today marks one full year. One year since thousands of innocent lives were lost, and the world as we knew it changed forever.

New York City has long been the subject of stereotypes—loud, impatient, fast-paced, unapologetically bold. We’re known for our yellow taxis, crowded streets, unforgettable accents, dirty subways, and towering skyline. But there’s so much more beneath the surface.

I grew up in New York. My childhood was a blur of concrete playgrounds and street games—red rover, lemonade stands, big wheels, and cardboard breakdance mats. I never envied the swing sets or grassy backyards across the river in New Jersey. This city was my playground.

One of my clearest memories is riding the subway into Manhattan. As the train glided over the bridge, the skyline would appear—and every time, it took my breath away. The Twin Towers stood above it all, unmistakable, iconic, untouchable.

I remember the first time I saw them up close. I was so small I had to grip my father’s arm just to tilt my head back far enough to take them in. They were giants—silent, silver giants—with a pulse of their own. People streamed in and out constantly, on their way to work, to lunch, to meetings. Life buzzing all around them, never imagining the unthinkable: that one day, those towers would fall.

Over the years, I grew up with them. Eventually, I worked in the North Tower myself. But even then, walking towards them every morning, that sense of awe never faded. I still felt small beside them, still had to steady myself when I looked up. They weren’t just buildings. They were part of my life—like two silent siblings who had always been there.

They were part of every New Yorker’s life.

And then, one year ago today, they were gone. Two structures that took years to build collapsed in under 60 seconds, taking with them thousands of lives. The very people I used to watch as a child—rushing in and out like New Yorkers do—vanished in an instant.

In just one minute, the skyline was changed. In one minute, hearts broke. In one minute, everything shifted.

Even with a year behind us, the pain feels fresh. I woke up today feeling the same shock, sadness, and anger I felt that morning. Every time I return to the city and see the hole in the skyline, my heart sinks. Every time I hear a victim’s story, my chest tightens.

I feel sorrow. I feel rage. I feel fear. My heart aches for the families still grieving—parents, siblings, children, spouses. So many of the victims were just starting out.

Laura Angiletta, 23, fresh out of college at her new job at Cantor Fitzgerald. Paul Battaglia, 22, working at Marsh & McLennan. Jude Safi, 25, also at Cantor. Robert Tipaldi, 25, same firm. They walked the same streets I did. They chased the same dreams. They felt the same awe, walking toward those towers each day.

Today feels hollow without them. New York feels hollow without the towers. I will carry their memory, and the memory of those towers, and the memory of who we were before September 11, 2001.

I’m proud of where I come from. Proud of our grit, our chaos, our subway grime and short tempers. Proud of the resilience, the way we came together, the way we honored the fallen. No matter where life takes me, I’ll always be a New Yorker at heart.

There is no better place in the world to come from.

🇺🇸 America 2025: The Burnout Nation That Keeps Going Anyway

Let’s talk about it.

We’re tired. We’re divided. We’re scrolling through chaos, swiping through disasters, doom-scrolling into existential dread — and somehow still getting up for work at 7am.

The United States of 2025 is a paradox:

  • The economy is growing… but your rent is half your paycheck.
  • Tech is exploding… but nobody can afford a house.
  • Wages are higher… but so is everything else.
  • Mental health is on everyone’s mind… yet nobody has the time or coverage to actually fix it.

We’re hyperconnected and more isolated than ever.
We’ve never had more “wellness hacks,” and we’ve never felt worse.
We’re watching AI write songs, novels, resumes — and quietly wondering if it’s going to replace us too.

And yet… somehow, we keep going.

We’re still building things.
Still raising kids.
Still fighting for rights, for fairness, for community — even when the news says it’s hopeless.
We volunteer. We donate. We show up.

We rage-tweet. We organize. We bake bread again (yes, sourdough is back — call it therapy).
We meme our way through crisis after crisis because humor is how we cope.

And let’s be honest — America’s not just a mess. It’s our mess.

We’re a country built on contradictions:

  • Freedom, but with 80-hour workweeks.
  • Dreams, but with debt.
  • Power, but with potholes.

Yet here we are. Still here.

So what now?

Now we stop pretending things are “fine.”
Now we check on each other — for real.
Now we vote like our lives depend on it (because they do).
Now we build systems that don’t require burnout to survive.

Because maybe the most radical thing we can do in 2025 isn’t hustle.
Maybe it’s resting.
Maybe it’s healing.
Maybe it’s finally saying:

“This isn’t working — let’s fix it. Together.”

And maybe, just maybe, we still believe — not in the system, but in each other.

Because the truth is, America isn’t broken. It’s unfinished.

And we are the ones still writing it.

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What My Childhood Didn’t Teach Me- And How I Learned Anyway

I’ve spent many years in recovery—recovering from drug abuse, childhood trauma, anger issues, defensive rage, adulthood trauma, and more. I invested over 20 years in therapy and anger management classes. And while, at times, I may feel like one the most zen people, it still only takes a split second for those old patterns to resurface—the very ones I’ve fought so hard to overcome.

My childhood was marked by violence and chaos. Not a day went by without screaming, fighting, things being thrown, or physical abuse—and that was just inside my home. Outside, I faced the harsh reality of life in New York City, where chaos and danger were constant companions. By the time I was 15, I had attended over 100 funerals—friends lost to accidents, shootings, suicide, and murder. It’s no surprise that I spent most of my formative years on high alert.

As I grew older, I found myself repeating the same toxic patterns I had witnessed growing up. Physical abuse became familiar, emotional abuse was expected, and I came to see it all as normal. The toll it took on me was heavy—chronic anxiety, sleepless nights, and a constant sense of unease followed me everywhere. I never truly felt safe.

As a child, I would escape in my mind to California. To me, it symbolized everything I longed for—peace, possibility, and a fresh start. It was nearly 3,000 miles from New York City, my family, and the chaos that surrounded my life. That dream became my fuel. I was just a kid from a broken home in Brooklyn, a high school dropout with nothing but raw survival instincts and a burning desire to get out.

The funny thing about trying to escape the patterns of your past is that the harder you fight them, the easier it is to fall right back into them—often without even realizing it. No matter how much work I’ve done—years of therapy, meditation, deep self-reflection—certain triggers still have a power over me that feels impossible to control.

If someone threatens me physically, my instinct is immediate and overwhelming: FIGHT. And not just defend—I go into full-blown survival mode. I see red. I lose control. I’ll scream, throw things, lash out with a rage so blinding it feels like I’m watching myself from the outside, completely detached but unable to stop it. It’s terrifying. It’s humiliating. And despite all the progress I’ve made in nearly 50 years, this one reaction continues to haunt me.

I’m not proud of it—far from it. I’ve spent decades trying to unlearn this response. But in those moments, it doesn’t feel like a choice. That whole “if you come at me, be ready for the storm” mentality has only ever left me depleted—emotionally wrecked, physically sick for days, and sleepless for weeks. It’s a cycle I desperately want to break, but some scars run deep.

That’s not to say I lose control often—because I don’t. Most of the time, I can take a deep breath, recognize what’s happening, and remove myself from the situation before it escalates. Verbal disagreements? I can handle those. But the second someone raises a hand to me or even hints at physical harm, it’s like a switch flips. I see red.

Part of me believes, in certain situations, that reaction might actually protect me. That “Hulk smash” instinct might serve a purpose when real danger is present. If someone sees that I’m willing to go to a level they’re not prepared for, they usually back off. But what happens when they don’t?

Now, at the age of 50, the last thing I want is chaos, drama, violence, or conflict. I crave peace. I want to be surrounded by people who love me, who protect me—not just physically, but emotionally. People who safeguard my heart, my sanity, and my spirit. People who lift me up rather than tear me down.

I want to make better choices than the ones my mother made. I want to be stronger than I once was. And I want to be fearless in walking away from anyone who proves they are not safe for me—no matter who they are. I’m done trying to earn love, approval, or acceptance. I’m not here to please anyone anymore.

I just want peace.

Emotional regulation is a life skill I was never taught as a child. My examples were far from ideal. Yes, I had strong women around me, but I also witnessed things no child ever should. Those memories don’t just fade—they linger. And even now, recognizing when something is wrong doesn’t always mean I feel capable of changing it.

Much of this, I’ve learned, is just part of the hard lessons life hands us. Still, I can’t help but wish I had understood some of these truths sooner. If I could sit down with my younger self, this is what I’d tell her:


“Gloria, you are worth so much more than this. You can’t change people. You can’t control anything but YOU—and you especially can’t control anyone else. What you can control is your attitude, your perspective, and how you respond to the world around you.

Life will be so much easier if you learn this at 20 instead of 50. Don’t waste your time trying to fix or save people. Accept them for who they are. If someone brings you peace, protects your energy, and helps you grow—keep them close. But if they show you who they are, believe them, and walk away. Immediately. No second chances.

Also, don’t smoke. Don’t drink too much. Start working out in your twenties and stick with it—it’ll save you mentally as much as physically. And for the love of God, save your money. Stop giving it away to everyone who asks. You’re going to need it, kid.”

With Love, G


As I write this—sitting in the beautiful dining room of my home in California—I feel deeply grateful. But I’ve learned that gratitude and self-reflection aren’t the same. They’re both hard-won, often born out of seasons when gratitude feels out of reach and self-reflection feels too painful to face.

What I know now is this: never give up. Life is far too short. Always look inward. Always commit to your growth. And remember—protecting your peace isn’t selfish or harsh. It’s essential. You cannot clearly care for others, pursue your dreams, or navigate life with intention unless you first learn to love yourself.

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