Picture this:
Bright, shiny, unseasonably warm Friday morning in November. The hoards make their way through pedestrian traffic, filing down the overcrowded escalators to the Path train platform in lovely Journal Square, NJ. The time is 9:15 AM – a new day has begun.
I board the train and grab a seat. The train fills up pretty quickly and before I know it a rather tall black man is standing in front of me holding the handrail. We take off.
About 5 minutes passes and I happen to look up. Now keep in mind that the way the trains are situated is strange enough, meaning that if a woman is sitting in a seat and a man is standing in front of her, it DOES look rather sexual in nature. Picture it? Good… Hold that picture.
I look up and the guys fly is wide OPEN and to make matters worse he is not wearing any draws. So, the first thought that goes through my head is this: He is doing this on purpose.
Then the ADD kicks in again and I start wondering all of the following:
Doesn’t he feel a breeze?
How can you wear jeans without underwear? Isn’t that horribly uncomfortable? Don’t his balls hurt?
How do you just casually forget to zip up your fly?
Does anyone else notice this?
Am I noticing this because subconsciously I was staring at his crotch? If so, why? I am not even remotely attracted to this dude… or AM I?
How can I be attracted to this dude? He isn’t even my type. He is a complete yuppy, I hate yuppies.
Should I say something?
Then before I can think any further I say “Dude, your dick is about it make an appearance and I really can’t speak for this nice woman beside me – but I am not really interested in his Path train debut – so maybe you can shut the barn door? Thanks.
My damned big mouth. He turns away zips up and runs to the other side of the train mortified. I say, oh well… check your dick at the door dude.
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